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17 May 2007 @ 12:50 pm
New Tattoo!  
It's the cover of Alkaline Trio's Goddammit. Took 2 hours, well worth the pain, I absolutely love it.

http://www.holdthatpic.com/albums/Katy1039/laila-and-alfie/tattoo

Some pics of the babies in there too.

Better update later about all sorts of things like holiday's, losing weight, driving test. Busy busy Katy!
 
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30 October 2006 @ 10:05 pm
Birth story and all round update-goodness!  
Whoa. Such a lot of things have happened since the last update. Obviously I had the baby and his birth story is below. I've also posted a couple of pics so you can check out how fat I was, how cute he is and how gorgeously Laila is growing up. Everyone reading this had best leave me a comment telling me what is new in their life or else.

Birth story at last!

I'll start out this birth story by saying I know, I know I went to hospital twice before I was actually in labour. But I'm not a big wimp, I knew I wasn't in real labour. I'd been having on off contractions since I fell down the cellar steps at 37 weeks (oops) and I wanted to know if they were doing anything. Well they weren't and twice we bundled Laila off to my Mum's and twice we had to go get her when I got sent home and told to come back when the contractions were actually painful.

So I got to 41 weeks without anything much happening apart from stupid braxton hicks every 5 minutes that would fade off into nothing. I have never been so uncomfortable in my life as I was in that last week. The baby's head had engaged so far down that it felt like I was sitting on a bowling ball and trying to force him to come out with curry, walking, pineapple, boiling hot baths and sex had just become annoying. No offense, Will. I had my 41 week appointment at the hospital and was given a stretch and sweep and told that if he didn't come out in a week I'd have to be induced. My worst fear. The midwife thought she'd done some good with the stretch and sweep and I started bleeding a little bit so I was hopeful. The next morning Will went off to work and I had the first painful contraction at about 8am. I decided that all those braxton hicks were completely ridiculous and I would ignore them until I was crying with pain. I pottered round the house, with Laila, tidying up and trying not to be too excited. I had another painful one about half an hour later which forced me to stop contemplating mopping the kitchen floor and started to think that something might be going on. I was trying my best to ignore them but finally decided to ask Will to come home and bring a sandwich from the delicious shop down the road, because if it was false labour at least I'd get some food. I moved onto the birthing ball in the living room and tried to deal with the contractions and Laila scrambling up me. Will came home and immediately asked if I'd rung my Mum to pick her up, I think he was just dying to get rid of her. I was stalling, still not quite beliving that the contractions would keep going, even though at this point they were coming every 5 minutes and I was hanging off the mantlepiece in pain. (I still managed to scoff the delicious sammich). I rung my Mum to let her know that I might need her and then rung her back half an hour later, at the insistence of Will, to ask her to come and get Lails. Will then rung the hospital and I tried to talk to them but had to give the phone back to him as another contraction hit. My Mum arrived and I remember her saying to Will "God they're coming close together aren't they?". Laila was slung in the back of Mum's car and I dragged on a pair of Will's trousers and limped out to the car.

We set off for the hospital about 2.30pm. I was completely expecting the contractions to stop in the car but they kept coming, strong, so we were hoping by the time I got to the hospital I'd be pronounced 5cm dilated and coping wonderfully. I was also hoping to use the birthing pool when I got there but I wasn't allowed because of my stupid anaemia. Not that anyone informed me of this beforehand. Thanks go out to the wonderful midwives who did my prenatal care! Also because of the anaemia I had to go into labour and delivery, rather than the midwife led unit. That was fine with me because I saw plenty of the midwife led suite during the 20 or so hours I spent there during Laila's birth. I hope to never see that damned bedsit again. I was examined by the nice midwife at 3pm and rather than being 5cm I was a poxy 1 to 2cm and offered a bath or a walk as pain relief. What I really wanted was a nice big brick smashing into my head, a large bottle of vodka or failing that a general anasthetic. When she said 1-2cm all I could think was oh holy shit we're in for another 44 hour nightmare. And I was already in excruciating pain. After the examination I was attempting to put Will's trousers back on to go for a walk but the furthest I got was the chair next to the bed. The contractions were unbelievable and were coming every 2 minutes and lasting for a minute. The intensity of them took my breath away and I had to tell Will to go and get a midwife because I was not coping, not in the slightest. I could feel the panic setting in. Will went to get her and said I was behaving like I was at 9cm dilated with Laila, in such pain and moaning and writhing about. She offered me another check and even though it killed me to lay down I accepted and in 45 minutes I'd gone to 3cm and was offered the full menu of narcotics. Hurrah! I started huffer puffering on the gas and air like my life depended on it. It felt like it did depend on it. I quickly became drunk out of my tiny mind on it and kept slurring to Will that people were "boxed". Everything was going all pixellated like I was going to pass out! Marvellous stuff that gas and air. It didn't take the edge off the contractions in the slightest and I was still moaning my head off but I was too wrecked to do anything about it. At this point the nice midwife had to go off to an emergency somewhere so this lovely Irish midwife took over. And reminded me so much of Mrs Doyle off of Father Ted that I kept nearly mentioning it in my drunken state. I told Will and he kept saying "ah will ya have a cup of tea?!" I would have laughed if the contractions weren't killing me! Will heard her saying to another midwife outside that they'd best keep an eye on me because I was progressing really quickly. Before this Will didn't seem too impressed and clearly thought he was settling in for the long run because he had opened the sweets I brought to keep my energy up and was scoffing them. I was stuck sitting on the side of the bed and I kept having to yank him out of his seat when I needed his hand! Which I was trying my damndest to break. Getting the sweets out of my labour bag was the first and only time it was opened during labour!

From the 3cm check and the introduction of the gas and air it all goes a bit hazy for me. I could not move from the side of the bed with one foot touching the floor and inbetween contractions I felt desperately tired, like I wanted to lay down, so I was putting my head on my shoulder. Mrs Doyle was getting the stuff ready for the baby and writing up hospital ID tags for both of us and that is when Will says he realised that I'd be having the baby fairly soon. Mrs Doyle kept saying "ooh I bet she's really cracking on now, I can tell just from how she's behaving" which was horribly, I was really moaning and dragging Will's hand about and carrying on. She had done a blood test and sent it off to check my iron levels and mistakenly said to another midwife that she'd sent it off in the morning and I was thinking "but I haven't been here since this morning oh shit they've confused me with someone else and she must be confused and I wont be as far on as she thinks oh no oh no oh no we're going to be here forever!" Gas and air makes you just as paranoid as booze! The baby's heartbeat was checked really frequently and I had to stand up for them to find it with the monitor because he'd gone so far down. Standing up was absolute agony and I had to hold onto Will for it. Mrs Doyle asked if I was feeling any pressure and because I was she and said I was probably in transition.

At 6.20pm she checked me again and rather being fully dilated, like I hoped, I was only 6cm. I felt pure and vile hatred for Will and the midwife for tricking me into thinking I was practically ready to have the baby and thought that Mrs Doyle was just a bitch who was trying to swindle me out of an epidural. I wanted to voice all of these opinions but I was too pissed and couldn't get long enough between contractions! Anyway, she decided to check me during the next contraction to see what went on and that one pushed me to 7cm. She then said I could have whatever drugs I fancied so I decided that because the birth was clearly days away I'd have a go with some pethidine. Mrs Doyle went off to get the injection and I lay on the bed, unable to move my legs because the pain was so horrendous. She injected me with the drug and I swung round to continue snapping Will's hand in two when I felt enormous pressure. I leaned off the bed and POP my waters broke everywhere! Will was quite frankly delighted and was going "your waters have gone!" and I was just drunkenly going "EH?" "WHA?" because I couldn't understand what he was talking about. Mrs Doyle casually said right, we'd best get thinking about what position you want to give birth to this baby in. But the next contraction hit and I was pushing. Well I wasn't pushing, my body was pushing, it was unbelievable. Mrs Doyle stopped being so casual when she checked me, found me fully dilated, and ordered me onto the bed whilst shouting "DON'T PUSH, DON'T PUSH!" while running round the room getting her gloves on! I crawled up the bed with the gas and air pipe clamped between my teeth and hung onto the back of the bed and Will's hand. That sensation, of pushing and him coming further down, was unexplainable. Everything went silent and the pain, oh my God the pain. I think I wimpered "hurts, hurts" but one long push and his head was coming. And also the burning, ouch, ouch, ouch the burning. Mrs Doyle and Will were shouting "PANT! PANT!" so his head would come slowly but I remember thinking sod this panting lark, I'm shoving that boy out. His head came out owwwwwwwwww and the other midwife who had arrived said "ooh he's got lovely fair hair!" and I was thinking which baby are you looking at, idiot, I have babies with dark hair. Another push and out came his body. He screamed immediately and I could not believe that he was out! Will was kissing me over and over again and saying "I can't believe he's out!" They passed him through my legs and I sat back on my heels and I couldn't believe he was out! He was so beautiful, all scrunched up, and he did have quite fair hair. I kept parroting "I can't believe he's out!" If you haven't gathered it yet we were a bit suprised!

The midwives were congratulating me and I passed Alfie to his Dad so I could swing round and begin the glamour of birthing the placenta. Will noticed that his breathing was really snuffly and slow so Mrs Doyle pressed the alarm for someone to come check him who declared him perfect, the birth was just so quick that Alfie was quite suprised. He was weighed and we were again suprised that he was only 8 pounds 9, not as big as Laila who was 8 pounds 13. So I'd managed to get him out having just 3 hours 15 minutes in established labour then I had a retained placenta. Mrs Doyle tried loads of injections to get it to come out and the Doctor tried lots of painful grovelling around in there but it refused to budge. I managed to birth Alfie with minimal drugs yet afterwards I had to go to theatre to get an epidural to get rid of the placenta! It wasn't so bad, I was on such a high from giving birth that I was quite cheerful during the whole thing despite shaking like mad in response to the spinal. The epidural was fine, not painful at all, and the barmy Spanish doctor kept my mind off things by chattering away. I had to have quite a few stitches too so it was nice not to have to feel those.

I was wheeled into recovery and back to my boys. While Will went off to drink a disgusting amount of alcohol with his Dad in celebration, Alfie slept the whole night on the ward, not making a single peep. A feat which he has unfortunalty not repeated. He's beautiful though, worth almost every awake moment. Laila absolutely adores him and shouts "HELLO BABA!" whenever she sees him.

And so we're done, that's us finished with pregnancy and birth and all that stuff that doesn't agree with me. Welcome to the world, Alfie Joseph, we love you very much.

Pictures will be posted in a friends only entry so let me know if you want to befriend me.

X
 
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13 December 2005 @ 10:20 am
Happy Birthday Dad  
Once again my Dad's birthday rolls around. He would have been 57 tomorrow. I'm ashamed to say that I haven't thought about it a lot until today and need to go to his grave. We haven't even shown him Laila. I'm as bad a daughter in his death as I was in his life.

I just want to say this - I love you, Dad. I miss you so much and I wish you were here to see your Granddaughter smiling and crawling and learning something new every day. I just know she would have loved you just as much as she loves the rest of us. Thank you for giving me the means to buy my own house and save some money because it has really made a difference and I'll be saving that money to pass on to Laila. I'm sorry I dont think about you enough but it's hard, you know? Hard to understand that I'll never see you again. Never get one of your fantastic hugs. I sat and cried all over Laila the other day because of some sappy song on the radio. I will always, always love you and I hope you're proud of me and my little family.

With all the love in my heart.
Katy
 
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24 October 2005 @ 02:11 pm
I'm going to update, I promise  
I'm really going to start updating this thing. We've got a site for Le Baby too but I can't really fucking swear on that one. And I love to fucking swear because it's fucking great. I'm going to make future entries friend's only. So if you want in on lots of baby updates and lots of fucking swearing let me know.
 
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12 June 2005 @ 09:58 am
Pictures pictures!  
A few snaps of the munchkin. She's being adorable at the moment. She's started cooing and shouting which is sooooooooooooooooo cute and makes my head explode.


http://www.andthentherewasyou.co.uk/album/may-jun05%20035.jpg

http://www.andthentherewasyou.co.uk/album/may-jun05%20058.jpg

http://www.andthentherewasyou.co.uk/album/may-jun05%20067.jpg

http://www.andthentherewasyou.co.uk/album/may-jun05%20070.jpg


Just a quick one because I'm off to play with her on the floor mat.
 
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30 May 2005 @ 09:39 pm
Birth story!  
26th April
2.30am - 7 days after my due date I woke up with a fairly strong contraction. Another 2 followed, 15 minutes apart. We were excited, things were finally starting! We called my Mum and I had a bath and did my hair (essential when in labour).
4am – My Mum arrived. Contractions were every 15 minutes. I started feeling a bit sick which was probably just nerves!
5am – I went to the loo to throw up and found I was losing my mucous plug along with a bit of blood.
6.30am – I was still having contractions and also losing more blood. I was worried about this so I called the labour ward and was told to go in for a check.
7am – Arrived at Dewsbury hospital and was hooked up to the monitors. Will enjoyed watching my contractions build and informing me of when one was coming “Ooh you’re having one now!” Will was told to shut up and not watch the monitors anymore.
9am – I’d been examined and the doctor had been surprised to find that I was 2cm dilated! He discussed moving things along but Evil Midwife Number 1 overruled him and told us to go home and come back when the contractions were more painful. We obviously ignored this advice and decided to tramp around the hospital for a while.
11am – 10pm – We had come home but as soon as I tried to lie down to get some sleep the contractions got really painful. We headed back to the hospital again! We got a room in the Midwife Led Unit, which resembled a bed-sit. Will and my Mum started timing contractions with the precision of a team at the Grand-Prix and were staring intently at me, watching for pain. A nice midwife gave me a birthing ball to have a go on and I announced to everyone that I wanted to marry the birthing ball because it was fantastic! I had a bath, which did little and nothing to help the pain. This continued for hours and I wasn’t checked until 10pm. Evil Midwife Number 2 then informed me that I was still only 2cm dilated and I wasn’t having contractions in her opinion, just pains, and I should go home as I’m wasn't even in proper labour. I refrained from ripping her head off. Will and my Mum were really angry and explained that I couldn’t even lie down so what was the point in going home? She suggested going up onto the ward for the night. I got there and realised I just wanted to go the hell home so we went back again!
11pm – At home and as soon as I tried to lie down the contractions nearly killed me. I had 15 contractions in 10 minutes and couldn’t stop crying. My Mum called Evil Midwife Number 2 and was told that I could come back in and go onto the ward. Back to Dewsbury we went! I scoffed a whole bag of fruit salads on the way which turned out to be the only thing I ate through the whole labour.
11.30pm – On the ward I was drugged up on pethidine and painkillers so I could try and get some sleep. I had a brilliant time looking at the imaginary lights and humming to the music in my head! A nicer midwife felt my bump and suggested that the baby might be back to back with me – explaining the long and very painful labour. If someone had mentioned this earlier it might have been nice!

27th April
1.30am – I staggered out of bed to beg for more drugs as I couldn't lie down and I the disco in my head had moved on. Nice Midwife examined me and I was 4cm dilated and eligible for more pain relief, hurray! I got more pethidine and the gas and air tank was wheeled in. I went to sleep with the gas and air nozzle clamped between my teeth.
8am – Will was allowed back onto the ward. The gas and air canister was refilled. My friend Sarah came to visit me and said that seeing me in labour was a good contraception. I was told by another nice midwife that the baby was back to back with me. She also suggested the birthing pool. I thought why the hell not so they started to get the room ready.
10am – My Mum arrived, the pool was filled up and I climbed in in a fetching pink nightie. I immediately fell in love with the pool which was Olympic sized and hotter than hell. My head looked like it was about to blow up! Will and my Mum took turns in putting a wet flannel on my head and holding the gas and air nozzle between contractions. I started to babble rubbish from the gas and air including something about my brother working for a landscape gardeners and there being a go-kart track outside. The midwife was checking the baby’s heartbeat every so often and everything seemed to be going OK. The pains were not too bad and were helped by the lovely hot water and another injection of meptid. My Mum took over being in charge of the gas and air pipe and Will went off to get some food in the canteen. He pronounced the food delicious and advised the midwife to have the sticky toffee pudding!
12.30pm – After being dragged out of the birthing pool I had an internal and I was 6cm dilated. Back to the pool I went.
3.30pm – Another internal and I was 8cm dilated, yay! After some debate the midwife broke my waters with what resembled a knitting needle. She said that my membranes were very tough. She also told me I needed to get walking around to push things on a bit. The birthing ball was back! The first contraction after my waters had been broken was absolutely horrendous and rocking on the ball did nothing except make me seep waters. I seem to remember screaming like a banshee as each contraction threatened to snap my body in two. I begged to go back in the lovely pool. I was told that if I hadn’t progressed by 7pm then they would have to take me to the delivery suite as I’d have been in labour too long.
7pm – I hadn’t progressed past 8cm. By this point I started saying I couldn’t go on and asked for more pain relief and started voicing my desire for an epidural. The pains were horrendous. I can't properly explain them but they hurt so much they made it hard to see.
7.30pm – After a shot of meptid I limped down the corridor to labour and delivery to be hooked up to the monitors. I had to walk down the corridor without my beloved gas and air but grabbed it as soon as we got into the new room. Will asked me if I still wanted an epidural and I said I really would! He asked a midwife and she said she’d look into it. It turned out that the anaesthetist was busy with someone who was nearly giving birth so I was at the bottom of the list. I then had the most painful internal ever which felt like the doctor has got both his hands and possibly his feet shoved up me. I was still 8cm dilated and talk started about progressing the labour. I was dehydrated so they put me on a drip and also catheterised to empty my bladder (glamorous!) I was hooked up to loads of monitors.
8.30pm – The urge to push nearly left me hanging off the ceiling! I was told not to push which is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to (not) do. The urge to push is sort of like when you're being sick and you cant stop it. Just as the anaesthetist walked through the door the midwife announced me to be fully dilated and ready to push! Someone told me I’ll have the baby within the hour. I remember thinking that an hour was a bloody long time! I got coached on how to push by the lovely doctor I’d seen on the first morning I was there. (“Don’t make any noises! Keep your mouth shut and your chin on your chest! Push through your bottom!” I did push through my bottom and did a poo! (It got more glamorous)).
9.30pm – The doctor wasn’t happy with the baby’s heartbeat and said that he’d need to do a sample from her scalp. This came back fine so I kept pushing.
10pm – I was told I’d need a caesarean section as the doctor wasn’t happy with one of the readouts from the monitors. I remember saying I didn’t care, just get her out! About 2 minutes after this the doctor had to come running back into the room as they could see her head. He was joined by another 2 doctors and a nurse so I had 5 medical professionals staring up my bits. Attractive. I was still pushing and crushing my Mum and Will’s hands. The doctor decided I needed an episiotomy. Doom! I shouted at him because I could feel every single cut and the evil man said “this baby needs to come out now!” which among the 15 people in the room I felt I was the most aware of! So he continued with the butchering. And I continued with the pushing. It was without a doubt the worst point in labour and possibly my life. Will cried because I was in so much pain.
10.31pm After 44 hours of labour I finally managed to shove her out! They plonked her on my stomach and me, Will and my Mum couldn’t stop smiling at Laila Caitlin Robinson. I think my first words to her were “hello chicken!” and she didn’t cry until the nurse pinched her (evil). It took the doctor an hour to stitch me up during which time Laila was really quiet and staring at Will and my Mum who were holding her. She was weighed and measured and was 8 pounds 13 ounces and 53cm long. And every bit of her beautiful! I cannot believe we’ve finally got her.
 
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19 April 2005 @ 05:58 am
D-Day has landed!  
Well it's my due date. For 40 weeks I have gestated this child and now she's supposed to be here. Supposed to be! Have had bugger all signs that anything is happening and to say I'm bored would be a slight UNDERSTATEMENT. I'm more than a little bit fed up. I'm not particularly uncomfortable, apart from the 7-8 pound child in my belly, I'm just really fucking impatient to meet this kid now. I can't even stand the excitment of Christmas and this is approximately 9204392 times worse. If I only knew when she might make an appearance I'd be more calm but this being on red alert all the time is turning me into a nightmare. And there is only so much cleaning of the house that can be done. Speaking of the house we've had it all done up, new windows, carpet, decorating, water supply and I have to say it looks fecking gorgeous. I'll post some pictures soon. We're really pleased with the nursery, it is absolutely perfect. I keep popping in for a looksie because it's so cute. It was a huge pain in the arse getting it all done but well worth it in the end. The only thing that's missing is a baby to put in there. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. What makes it worse is we went to see Will's new niece a couple of weeks ago so now I know just how snuffly and gorgeous and tiny and warm newborns are and what it'll feel like to hold ours.

In boring, factual news I've put on around 2 and a half stone which I don't think is too bad. Have got some wicked cool stretch marks too. They form an interesting pattern under the huge belly. Hey it saves me getting a tattoo. My blood pressure has been fab for the whole time and I haven't had a bit of swelling (apart from the massive stomach). The only bad things have been the sickness and the breathlessness. It turned out I was anaemic and the iron tablets have helped a little bit. I still feel like I'm suffocating most of the time but I've sort of got used to it. Other than that I can say that I've really enjoyed the last bit of being pregnant. I love love love it when she does massive kicks and I could sit and watch my belly for hours. I've enjoyed buying all the baby stuff and nesting like crazy and sharing this with Will and my Mum has been lovely (cue everyone throwing up). In some ways I'll be sad not to be pregnant anymore. But in other ways it'll be a bloody relief! Top 5 List of Things I Will Be Glad to Pop the Sprog For:

1. Being able to breathe! Through my nose! No one ever mentions that for 40 weeks you will have a stuffy nose. Waking up and not having to peel my tongue off the roof of my mouth will be fabulous.
2. Sleeping on my tummy! Or at all (I've ordered one of those sleeping babies.)
3. Eating pate / peanuts / soft cheese / runny eggs / having a really huge alcoholic drink
4. Being able to get off the couch / out of bed without requiring 3 weeks notice
5. Walking without side-swiping anything in a 5 foot radius


I suppose I'm most looking forward to knowing that she is OK. I've been psychotically worried about her for so long that I cant wait to hold her in my arms. Yes, yes I know that's when the worrying really starts but I'm in denial for the moment.

Have got really quite bad back ache so I'm off to do some pacing and wondering if labour is starting. Come on baby (most likely to be called Laila) today would be good!
 
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15 February 2005 @ 01:21 pm
Big long mother fucking update!  

So hi, hey, it's been a while! It's been in the back of my mind to update but I kept forgetting. Then I've been worrying that I wont have anything to remember how annoying, irritating and uncomfortable pregnancy is so I thought I'd best update! Just in case I get it in my mind to do this again. Ohhhhh this baby is going to be an only child and I don't care how spoilt she'll be, I'm not feeling like this again, ever! (Only joking - see point 2.)

 

 

Anyway, I’m 31 weeks pregnant today, 9 weeks to go, people. Here’s my random thoughts sorted into neat little sections. Oh how I love the lists.

 

 

1. The scan

 

We booked another scan after our 20 week NHS one because the midwife was useless with her "Ohh it might be a girl but I could be wrong!" diagnosis. I never thought that day would ever get here but it did, last Monday 7th Feb. Me, Will, my Mum and Will's sister all went off to the posh private clinic to have a looksie at the bump. Honestly, if I had the money I'd get private healthcare because it was so much nicer than the shitty hospital rooms we're used to. I got to lay on a big leather bed, the rest of them got a big leather sofa, we got to watch the whole of the scan on a huge flatscreen TV on the wall and, best of all, the gel they put on my belly (to make the scan thing work?) was warm! Not freezing!

 

I have to say that a scan this late on in the pregnancy was absolutely amazing. We could see the baby sooooo clearly. And yes, the crappy NHS were right, it is definitely a girl! The highlights were seeing how much hair she’s got (loads, honestly, so freaky), seeing all 4 chambers of her heart pumping away, and seeing her swallowing which led to watching her little rib cage go up and down with the hiccups! She was pursing her lips, gorgeous thing. Here are lots of pictures:

 

http://will.xprs.co.uk/scan/

 

We also got a DVD recording of the whole thing. It was worth every single penny. Now we know she’s definitely a girl I think we’ve picked a name. Will has yet to be completely convinced of it but hey, I have to lump this baby around in my belly all day, I get the last word on names! I really like Lola. Lola Robinson. Not sure about middle names, I’m still obsessing.

 

From the scan pictures they could extrapolate info about how big she is and should be at birth. I was anxious to have this information as Will was one ounce off 10 pounds, his brothers and sister were all big and his sister’s babies were nearly 10 pounds too (10 pounds is about 4 and a half kilograms). Add to that me being a considerable fatty at 8llbs, 10ounces at birth and I wanted to know if I’d be parting with a massive baby! Luckily she weighs about 3.5 pounds now which should mean, if she keeps putting on weight, that she’ll be about 7.5-8 pounds at birth (3 and a half kilos). A little over average. Thank God!

 

2. House crap

 

Did I say on here that we were selling our house? Well didn’t that just go right down the shitter! We sold to the first viewer, 2 weeks after it had gone on the market, so we managed to have our offer accepted on a really nice place just down the road with 3 bedrooms and a cool garden. Everything was rolling along fine, we paid for surveys and mortgage advisors and, without warning last week, our buyer pulled out. That fucking bitch. After 2 days off feeling like we wanted to kill ourselves we decided to take ours off the market and do it up. So we’ve got a re-mortgage and we’re ringing round people for quotes. Things that need to be done:

 

-         As it’s an old property (the earliest stuff I have on it is from 1880) the water pressure is terrible as it has to come through teeny pipes. So we’re getting them replaced (to the tune of around £4,000).

-         New boiler

-         Chimney blocking up and new fire

-         Every room painting

-         Carpets throughout

-         General “making nicer” stuff like carpets and curtains

 

 

All in 9 weeks! Such fun! But it’s going to look gorgeous. I especially cant wait to get the spare room turned into a nursery. Here is the bedding we are going to have and we’re going use yellow and cream colours on the walls:

 

http://www.mothercare.com/bin/venda?ex=co_wizr-xapian&xptpl=wz_xapian_productlist&bsref=mothercare&layout=toplevellayout&searchfld=&searchpage=&searchinvt=1&searchstry=1&searchlike=1&itemsperpage=8&srchopt=V,C&threshold=10&C=cobabyjungle&x=0&y=0&orderby=MC&xpcache=1&bklist=icat,5,shop,shonursery,nurcoordinatedbedding,cobabyjungle

 

We have bought a cot, wardrobe and drawers in white which I think will look really nice against the yellow jungle theme. We’ve also got a pram which is super groovy and a few other things. I still feel like there’s lots to buy but that’s just pregnancy insanity (see point 3 for more fun symptoms!) My Mum has been going a bit mad buying her all sorts of clothing but I’ve yet to buy anything. I just don’t like really girly stuff like pink frocks and matching knickers. We did buy her these, which are very much to my taste:

 

http://will.xprs.co.uk/katy/baby_converse_shoes.jpg

 

My brother is disgusted that we will be dressing her like a punk! Hahaha better than a sickly sweet pink girl I say.

 

3. Pregnancy fun

 

So as I said I’m 31 weeks today and over all I don’t feel too bad. No, really! The worst thing has been the recurrent water infections, which I’ve just finished my 8th round of anti-biotics for. Burning pee is no fun especially with little baby feet in my bladder. I think that’s been my worst symptom though and if I get away with only having that then I’d be happy. I’m not swollen, my blood pressure is really low, I can sort of sleep OK, I’ve not had any heartburn or indigestion. I can barely breathe, I feel faint quite a lot and I’m really, really grumpy but I suppose that’s par for the course. I am also crazy obsessed with lists. I wake up in the middle of the night thinking about all the stuff we need (bath stuff for the baby, curtains for the bedroom) and I can’t get back to sleep. To help I’ve bought a little book to write things down in! We call it The Book of Lists and I love it. According to every Mum I’ve spoken to you never lose that madness and obsessiveness so look out Will, Crazy Psycho Katy is here to stay! The most icky symptom so far are my new, leaky boobs. They don’t gush all over the place or anything but when I get out of the bath or I’m really warm they leak a bit of milk. Why didn’t anyone inform me that pregnancy is so glamorous?

 

I have to say though, hand on my heart, that every bit of discomfort and annoyance is worth it when I feel this baby kicking me. The movements just get more fun! At first they were like little flicks to my belly but now they are fully blown boots to my ribs and bladder. Recently she’s started really stretching so my belly goes from round to flat and then back again. Which is weird. But cool. I spend most of my time going “ooooooooh” because it’s like being on a fairground ride with her wiggling in there! I’ve not put on that much weight and have only really started to look preggo in the past month. Here’s a pic to judge:

 

http://will.xprs.co.uk/katy/katy_hotel.jpg

 

I look like I’ve got a really fat head on that one! This one proves I haven’t really got that much of a chubby face:

 

http://will.xprs.co.uk/katy/katy_train.jpg

 

And here’s me and Will looking super cheesy in our hats:

 

http://will.xprs.co.uk/katy/katy_will_edinburgh_castle.jpg

 

We went to Edinburgh for a few days which was much fun. I ate nearly everything in the City! It was effing freezing but we managed to walk (I don’t walk, I weebled) around and have lots of laughs.

 

Ante-natal classes start for us next week which I’m looking forward to but for all the wrong reasons. I think they are going to make me laugh! The labour one especially. I’ve already decided on my birth plan – to start shouting for drugs the minute the pain starts – so if we all have to sit round, pretending to breathe our way through the pain, I’ll be in fits of laughter. Ah well, maybe we’ll meet some new pregnant friends. Or get thrown out for sniggering!

 

4. Miscellaneous crap (as if the other stuff have had any format to them!)

 

I finish work in 4 weeks. 4 weeks eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Then I get 26 weeks of freedom. Well, not freedom as such. More torture, looking after a tiny, screaming baby. But at least I won’t have to travel 4 hours a day! Work at the moment is just a giant distraction from me buying baby stuff online. I’ll be 35 weeks pregnant when I finish so that’s (barring her popping out early) 5 weeks of lazing, pampering and eating to be done. Joy!

 

Here’s a picture of my cat, Lobster, just because it makes me laugh and he looks super chillaxed on my bed. That cat loves me, he likes to sleep on my head.

 

http://will.xprs.co.uk/katy/lobster_stretching.jpg

 

 

I think that’s all my updating. Apart from mentioning that a year ago, tomorrow, I was in hospital, having a miscarriage. I’m not too sad, having Lola give me a hefty boot in the ribs means I can’t mourn too much. At the very least I’m remembering.

 

Oh and we're off to see Fall Out Boy on Saturday in Leeds. I'd best wear my bump support!

 
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14 December 2004 @ 11:50 am
Happy Birthday Dad  
My Dad would have been 56 today. I cried from the minute I woke up, all through the bus ride and on the walk to work. It makes me so sad that he'll never see his grand-daughter. He would have looked so handsome holding her.

I love you Dad, I miss you every day and my heart breaks that I can't give you a hug today.

X
 
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03 December 2004 @ 05:29 pm
Girl  
The midwife said if she had to pick she'd pick girl. All healthy and well and stubborn and standing on her head and wiggling and being gorgeous.

http://www.rulesforwomen.myby.co.uk/babyscan.jpg

She's got a fat belly!
 
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30 November 2004 @ 10:34 am
Half way today  
Hurray!

But I have a headache so this will be quick.

I've felt the shrimp moving, it's sooooooooooooo cool. The other night Will and I were watching TV and I felt him/her sliding across my belly. So I grabbed Will's hand and POP s/he did a huge kick! Now it's non-stop popping. Which I love.

The big scan is on Friday, I'm so excited and nervous. I hope we can find out the sex.

I'll update then.
 
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11 November 2004 @ 01:18 pm
Wiggly  
I now decree that the baby shall henceforth be known as Wiggly.

I had a doctors appointment this morning and everything is fine, my blood pressure is good (slightly lower than before) and I'm measuring right for the dates. The doctor was really nice and he found the heartbeat straight away. It was so loud! But the baby was zooming around so he kept having to chase it. Hence the new name. It's a fidgety thing, just like Will!

I'm very, very happy. The morning sickness fading and now this mean I'm actually starting to enjoy it a bit. Apart from worrying about the size of my arse.. Next worry is the scan, three weeks tomorrow.

I "popped" to the supermarket on the way home. Hungry pregnant ladies should not be allowed near that much food. All the cupboards are rammed with sweets and chocolates. Mmmmmm food. Sod the size of my backside, I'm having another chocolate mousse.
 
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08 November 2004 @ 02:16 pm
Maternity clothes = the best thing ever invented. WARNING - this post is entirely baby related......  
I have no other room in my head.

Now instead of sitting at my desk with my work pants open I can sit here in complete comfort with my new stretchy maternity trousers! They've got these little elasticy side panels which stretch over my (admittedly small but starting to show) bump. Loads of people have started commenting on it now, my friend at work said I look "wider" which is a very good description. I'm just sort of thicker around the waist. How attractive. The boobs are still trying to take over the world and I think most of the weight I've put on, which is only around 4-5 pounds, has gone on my ass. Which is nice.

I'm 17 weeks tomorrow so only 3 weeks until we hopefully find out the sex. I'm absolutely convinced that it's a girl. So is everyone else. I want a boy though! Ah well. I'm still madly paranoid about it so as long as he / she is nice and healthy I honestly don't give a crap. I've got another doctors appointment on Thursday so I'll be able to hear the heartbeat which will calm me for about 3 days. Will isn't coming because he doesnt like them pressing on my belly! Awwwwww.

I haven't felt the shrimpster move yet but all the books and stuff say I might not feel it for a few weeks. Speaking of the books I hate them all! If I read one more thing that tells me to be careful of my weight gain I will turn into the Incredible Hulk and smash through a wall.

I'm feeling 100% better. I don't feel like I want to be sick at all now. This is only since last Wednesday so I'm now going to advise my childless friends to be prepared to feel like you are going to die for at least 16 weeks. HA at the books that say it'll go away by the 12th week. I got worse if anything! I've been having some interesting palpatations / breathing problems of late but the hospital said it was nothing to worry about.

All in all I think my mood is just...calm. Calmish. I still have a tiny panic attack everytime I have tummy pains, which is more or less all the time, but every single website I've read says this is normal. So I'm just trying to keep calm and resist eating every thing that crosses my path. My friend at work is pregnant and she's feeling like this, the other day she said "Are you excited?" and I said "No. Not at all. You?" and she wasn't either.

I'll be excited when I see that babe swimming around on the scan.
 
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22 October 2004 @ 04:20 pm
Swoosh swoosh swoosh swoosh swoosh  
That's the noise the baby's heartbeat made when we heard it yesterday. It took the midwife forever to find but it was so worth it. Everything seems fine and she could feel him so he's growing (I'm not considering having a girl.) My belly is getting much fatter, I will post a picture of it soon. And I cannot cram my boobs into any bra I own. Can't really be bothered to update... I'm nearly 15 weeks and feeling.. yes. Sort of OK. The sickness did come back but I can control it if I eat all the time. I'm working from home today so now it's time to have a nap with the cat.
 
 
Current Mood: cranky
 
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05 October 2004 @ 10:32 am
12 weeks today  

I am so pleased. After this point the risk of miscarriage is really low. Hurrah for the shrimp sticking so long!

 

I still feel like shite. More so maybe. I've got a water infection again which I'll probably have to take antibiotics every day for. *Sigh* And I've also got lots of mouth ulcers. Evil! I haven't had those since I gave up the old amphetamines! And I've got a cold. And I still feel sick all damned day. I'm the sickest, grumpiest pregnant lady, ever. I have no idea how Will puts up with me.

 

We got engaged last weekend :D :D :D :D  The ring is gorgeous, white gold. I'll take a picture when I have more energy (2006) and post it.

 

I don't think anything else of huge importance has happened. Remember when I used to be fun? Drinking and smoking and dancing? Yeah me too. Those days are long gone.

 

I'm off to do some work. Also known as looking at pregnancy websites.

 
 
Current Mood: All the damned time!
Current Music: Gene - fuck I love this band
 
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23 September 2004 @ 02:26 pm
There can be only one!  

I went to see the midwife yesterday, I'm 10 weeks and 2 days. Everything is fine and dandy and I'm now on midwife based care so I don't have to trek to the hospital for check ups. Yay! I'm going to see her again in 4 weeks and she says we should be able to have a listen to the heartbeat then! AND my local hospital does tell people the sex (based on where the baby is, obviously) so I can't wait for my 20 week scan! In symptoms news I'm feeling miles better. Still a bit sick but only when I smell something horrid. I'm eating the following items and nothing else:


 


Sandwiches (with cheese. Mmmm bland)


Soup and toast


Jacket potatoes


Ice pops. Sun lollies and ribena lollies.


 


Those are the only things that don't make me feel sick. Will wanted to put some sauce or other on his dinner the other night and I begged him not to because if I'd smelt it I would have vomited! Poor Will. He's been such a star during this. I tried to cook on Saturday morning but had to turn everything off and run upstairs to chuck up. How nice! The midwife gave me a big pack of pregnancy stuff which is cool. I've read it all including the patronising breast feeding brochure. I'm sorry but if I get mastitis (a yeast infection in the breast! which feels like knives stabbing you according to some ladies!) then there is no way I'm letting the baby feed from there. I want to breast feed, not least because it's cheap, but I'm not making myself miserable for it.


 


I've just finished my antibiotics for yet another water infection. My back is hurting less now but ARGH kidneys, what the hell are you doing?!


 


We've had to decide if we want the screening tests that my hospital offer. They can do a blood test to detect Downs Syndrome and Edwards Syndrome. I didnt have to think long before deciding that I don't want these tests. They don't give you a definite yes or no, they give you statistics. A positive test would be "you are in a high percentage of people who have a risk of having a child affected with this syndrome" and a negative result would mean a low risk. They class high risk as anything over 1 in 250 babies affected. I don't want to know if I face those odds, I'd rather not worry about something that for me, with my age, hopefully shouldn't be a problem. I'm definitely not having an amniocentisis either. This is where they insert a needle into the womb and withdraw some fluid to test. There is a risk of miscarriage. I think it's 1/100. That is much higher than if I didn't go through a procedure that involves sticking a needle in there. My friend at work today asked what I would do if the baby did have Downs. Honestly, I would be upset because my child would obviously impaired. But my ex boyfriend's sister had Downs and she was absolutely gorgeous. So... who knows. Fingers crossed for a healthy shrimp is all I can really think.


 


Most hillarious thing I've heard in this pregnancy so far: when I start to feel the baby move, in maybe 6 weeks or so, some people call it "quickening"! Like in Highlander hahahaha. I sent Will a text this morning saying "I'm calling it Connor McCloud of the Clan of McLoud" and he sent back "There can be only one" hahahahahaha. This makes me giggle. A lot. I hope the baby is good with a sword!


 


 


Random ramblings - When Will went to Leeds Fes I woke up at 4am or some other stupid time and was watching the festival from the previous year. System of a Down were on and I normally hate that sort of stuff (it makes my poor emo ears bleed and I have to listen to Saves the Day to calm down) but they were rocking good live! They did this one song that I really liked so I've been searching for it. Forgetting that my pal at work is the biggest System fan ever. So she brought her albums in today and we found it - Forest. I've now listened to it 12 times and really like it!


 


This weekend Will and I have been going out for 1 year. All together now "awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" If I feel OK we're going shopping. For a ring maybe? Maybe. Maaaaaaaaaaaaybe.


 


I must get on with some work anyway. I've been really productive today but I've still got loads of rubbish to do. Boo hiss.

 
 
Current Mood: giddy
Current Music: System - Forest
 
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14 September 2004 @ 08:39 am
9 weeks today  
I've had 3 parts to this pregnancy so far.

1. Tiredness. So, so tired, could not keep eyes open or concentrate on anything.

2. Sickness. Feeling like I was going to throw up at any moment. Watery mouth all the time. Gross.

3. Headaches. This is where I am now. Constant, constant headache which I can't take any painkillers for (!!), which is always there and gets worse if I don't eat or get 12 naps a day.


Other than the intense brain crushing pain I'm feeling pretty good. It's nice to be able to eat without gagging and if the allmotherfuckingday sickness has gone away then I'm lucky. I still feel occasionally nauseous when I smell stuff. Which no-one else can smell. For instance something in the bathroom smells mouldy and makes me want to heave. And when the oven is on it smells really funky. And the spare bedroom always smells like whatever grotty food next door is cooking which makes my stomach spin.

But I'm feeling happy. Feeling about 0.5% less terrified since we saw the heartbeat. I still get waves of terror sweeping over me but I just think "If something is going to go wrong there's nothing I can do." I just can't wait to be 12 weeks when the risk lowers. So I spend all my time thinking about the tiny baby and hoping it'll stay and wondering if that sharp pain means something is happening, then thinking how I will tell people... "Well, I first noticed something was really wrong when I had a sharp pain in my right hand and my left toe was tingly". It's fun to be neurotic.

I'm getting a really fat belly. I havent put any weight on so it must all be shrimp. Will was worried the other day because my boxer short bottoms were sticking into my tummy! I think I'm going to have to purchase some maternity clothes in the next few weeks. I did buy a pair of tight blue cords on Saturday but that's fine because they will fit me for another 2 weeks and I only paid (only!) £55 for them. Does pregnancy make women more stupid?

I haven't smoked for more than a month which I'm really pleased about. I had my last cigarette after I did the positive test (hey you would need a fag too if you discovered you were up the duff) and it hasn't really bothered me since. The smell of smoke makes me heave. HOW much do smokers stink?! My smoking friends all make me want to throw up. I haven't had an alcoholic beverage for longer and that's not bothering me in the slightest. Coffee has been really tempting though! No caffeine because it can stop the baby absorbing vitamins and minerals and stuff. Grrr. I want a big latte with loads of froth.

I've been eating healthily too, lots of fruit and stuff. I still look like crap, when does the glowing dealy start?

Anyway, I'm off work today with headachefromhell so me and the shrimp are off back to bed for more snoozes and cookies.
 
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10 September 2004 @ 11:26 am
Everything........... Is gonna be alright  

I had my scan this morning. Was absolutely in a blind panic and expected nothing good from it at all. Everytime I tried to imagine a positive scenario my brain locked and had the nurse callously saying "There's no baby." Sometimes I'd like to remove my brain, give it a good wash to get rid of all the crap, and then pop it back in my head.

 

The nurses were lovely as usual. And it only took the ultrasound lady about 5 seconds to say the magic words:

 

"Yes I can see the baby this morning. I'll just take some measurements and then you can have a look".

 

I can't remember what I said I was just grinning! We got to see the little shrimp! I'm much earlier than we first thought, 8 weeks 3 days, but we saw Shrimpy and also the heartbeat. It was absolutely amazing. The heartbeat was like a little flickering cross going really fast. The nurse said it's looking perfect for the age, it's right where it should be and everything is fine.

 

I'm in love. Due date of 19th April 2005.

Oh and I've made my entries about this public. I don't give a shit who knows after this.
 
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08 September 2004 @ 10:03 am
Nobody said it was easy. No-one ever said it would be so hard  

I think the hormones are kicking in because I was in tears walking through town last night listening to Coldplay! OMG EMO!!!!!!!1111111111111.

 

I'm having another nightmare. The allmotherfuckingday sickness is still here (I was sick this morning brushing my teeth. It's become like some kind of mission to brush without gagging because if I gag that's it, puking up bile.) I'm supposed to be 10 weeks (see later comments though) so maybe it will go in a couple of weeks. I'm not so dead tired all the time so maybe it's wearing off? My tummy has been hurting too. Sort of twingy with occasional sharp pains across it. Very strange. According to the internet it's normal and is probably just muscles and my cervix stretching (*) but I was worried so booked to see the doc. On the phone I asked about my kidney scan results too (after 3 weeks haha) and the nurse said the doc had initialled the letter and asked for me to come in (they didn't ring me to ask me to make an appointment, oh no. They expected me to know psychically to ring and book. Fucking idiots). So all day yesterday I was worrying that I might have diseased kidneys or something and then wondering if my stomach and back ache might be another infection. My docs appointment was at half 5 and went like this:

 

Me: Hello tummy ache blah blah not bad at all, just bit worried after February (does anyone else do this? Downplay their symptoms? Why do I feel the need to do this?!)

 

Doc: OK, it's probably just normal, uterus stretching (*) and making room for the baby blah blah

 

Me: But then I thought it might be an infection, I need to ask about my kidney scan results?

 

Doc: Oh yes, let me have a look... Your kidneys, gallbladder and bladder are all fine. But the scan didn't show up a gestational (also know as yolk) sac for the pregnancy. (the yolk sac is what the baby grows in and shows a viable pregnancy).

 

Me: *Silent for a while* Erm, what does that mean?

 

Doc: Really, really nice, dead reassuring "You were probably just too early for it to have shown up. Your womb was enlarged so that's a good sign, and you are maybe not as far on as you thought. I'll book you in for another scan this week"

 

Me: Leaves surgery in tears.

 

I was so, so, so, so upset. This doesn't by any stretch of the imagination mean that the baby isn't there, it just means that it was too small to show on an abdominal ultrasound. My main problem with all this is as follows:

 

I went for a kidney scan. I didn't give my consent for them to scan for my pregnancy. That is against the law, just like if they'd tested my blood for something I didn't know about (HIV, hep C etc). The nurse who did the scan was not a gynaecological nurse and therefore was not an expert in finding early pregnancies. She was also rude. She should have said something to me there and then and I could have made an appointment with gynaecology to have a vaginal ultrasound (which detects the baby from 4.1 weeks as a blob, much more detailed than the abdominal ultrasound) rather than casually sending a note to my doctors. I am now really stressed which will directly affect the baby and all this could have been avoided by the ultrasound tech keeping her FUCKING nose out of something that I didn't give consent for. I would then have gone for an ultrasound at 12 weeks in gynae and even if I was a couple of weeks behind 12 weeks they would still have been able to see the baby and a heartbeat. It is absolutely beyond belief that I went for a kidney scan and ended up with the prognosis "no yolk sac seen for pregnancy". Which at it's very worst could mean a blighted ovum (where the baby hasn't grown) or a missed misscarriage. I don't think it will be any of those things because I am sick, my boobs and tummy are bigger and I'm as moody as fuck. But they are really preying on my mind. All last night trying to sleep it was like a chant in my head. "No gestational sac. No gestational sac".

 

Anyway I'm getting all worked up again. I'm putting all the above in a letter to the hospital and also including that we went through a heartwrenching misscarriage so we are obviously very worried. Minus the swearing. Well, maybe minus the swearing. I might sign off

 

Yours

Katy

P.S. Do not FUCK with pregnanct ladies.

 

So the doctors are going to ring me with my scan date. Fingers crossed that there's a shrimp in there OK?

* Is it worrying that any mention of stretching or cervixes or wombs or anything makes me feel slightly sick? I don't think this is a good indicator for the futute..
 
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01 September 2004 @ 02:43 pm
Disjointed ramblings caused by too many hormones  
Yeah I've still got horrible allmotherfuckingday sickness. If anything it's got worse. Yesterday and the day before I threw up everything I ate. Ewwwwwwwwwwwww. At least I had time off work for the bank holiday. I mainly laid in bed feeling sorry for myself with the cat :( Will was at Leeds Festival and had a damned good time.

I was looking on yet another pregnancy website yesterday (I'm obsessed, shut it) and the baby now (9 weeks) resembles a shrimp! I was laughing and said to Will "Awwwww we're expecting a prawn!" It's about the size of a jelly baby. Aww prawn / jelly baby hybrid. 3 weeks till the midwife appointment, I cannot wait. I'm dying to have a scan to see that the shrimp is OK. And to check dates too so I can tell people. My closest friends know but I'm dying to tell everyone else.

My belly is getting fat. Probably because it practically went in before this but Mr Shrimp is making all my trousers tight. The only thing that is comfy is my PJs. Lets not get started on how huge my boobs are. I might feel fat but I've managed to lose 4 pounds due to all the vomitimg. I'm keeping all my fingers crossed that this allmotherfuckingday sickness goes away when I get into the second trimester (12 or 14 weeks depending on who you believe.) I really can't wait to get a big belly and feel the baby move. Am I tempting fate writing that? Maybe. But I don't want something bad to happen and for us not to have enjoyed this. I'm not saying we are discussing prams or names but I'm quietly hopeful. Not optimistic, because I have terrible thoughts all day long, but hopeful.

Do I have anything non-shrimp related to talk about? Work is cack, my friends are fine, the boiler is fixed (woooo!) and we are looking into moving. There is a really nice 3 bedroom house just down the road from us. 3 bed would be fab so we don't have to jam the computers into the only spare room. So we are going to have a wander down to see it tonight and then maybe make an appointment. Fingers crossed that they give bigger mortgages to ladies with shrimp!
 
 
Current Mood: hopeful
Current Music: Fall Out Boy - Love Will Tear Us Apart
 
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